living real

Vivid

2012-01-20T08:07:00.005-05:00

Thinny, Vicky, and Ashlee Jo (my granddaughter)

Vivid . Colorful . Dynamic

Thursday nights, a sea of colorful faces.

Playing, eating, singing, learning, praising; in vivid harmony.

Blending; hues on The Artist's canvas. Painted in His likeness.

From Viet Nam, Thailand, Africa, Mexico, Somalia, El Salvador, Burma, Argentina, America . . .

An inner-city clubhouse surrounded by poverty, abuse, gangs; darkness.

A few hours, together, they become a beacon of faith, hope, and love.

Forgetting their pain, thinking only of Him, praying for each other, and those who stayed behind in the darkness.

Flooding that darkness with the Light of the World.

Shouting in unison, shaking not only the floor, but the gates of hell; We are One7!!

Vivid . Colorful . Dynamic

Linking to:
Five Minute Friday; Vivid hosted by Lisa-Jo

'til next time,

Betty Jo

the day I died

2012-01-18T09:46:00.007-05:00

stock.xchng_TexasTiger

It was a perfect mountain day.

Not a single cloud blemished the Carolina-blue sky. The mountain ridges, back-to-back folds in blue green velvet, stretched as far as the eye could see.

It's been said; on a clear day one can see Georgia through the clearing where I entered the trail.

Unfortunately, with tears flooding my eyes, I angrily stumbled along the path, missing Georgia completely.

Why was I angry and crying?

It was a long time ago. I honestly don't remember the exact details.

As a family we had driven into the Blue Ridge Mountains to a favorite picnic area. My mother-in-law was with us.

One minute I was lazing in a lawn chair by our picnic table, MIL next to me, watching hubby and the boys playing ball in a bucolic meadow. The next, I was seeing red and trying to get as far away as possible, mumbling through clenched teeth, ". . . going to the restroom."

Most likely my anger and tears resulted from something my MIL said to me, which was often the case. She was a magician of sorts. Like a seventy something, gray permed, Houdini. Quicker than Abracadabra! she could be under my thin skin; sending me into a huff.

I remember exactly what happened next though, and will for the rest of my life.

Surprisingly I managed through the red hot tears, and low hanging tree limbs, to spot something I'd never seen before.

Bending low, weaving through oak and dogwood boughs, I made my way to an ancient, wrought iron fence. It surrounded a small area of forest embracing crumbling, overgrown tombstones of various age and size.

Momentarily I forgot my hurt and anger, intrigued by the discovery. I'm totally smitten by old cemeteries.

The epitaphs on the stones were weather worn leaving only a partial date here, a faded name there.

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Just stepping inside the little iron gate brought a measure of peace.

That is; until I spotted it.

Way at the back.

It was barely sticking out of the earth, almost completely covered with years of dried leaves, brush and thorny vines.

It was so small; I knew it had to be a child's stone.

I kicked away the vines and debris with the toes of my day-hikers, thorns snagging my jeans, leaf mold billowing, but none of that mattered. I was on a mission. Instinctively, I knew it was more than a simple discovery, but a life changing adventure.

Once the little stone was uncovered, I knelt and brushed away the remainder of dirt and dust from its inscription with my hands.

My heart almost stopped!

There were only three initials.

B. J. M.

My initials.

I was a new Christian, slowly taking baby steps through the Bible, but a verse of scripture instantly popped into my thoughts:

John 12:24 NIV Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

I could try and deny it, but I knew just like the B.J.M. in that lonely mountain plot; I had to die. Die to my selfish anger, self-pity, self-righteousness, and all the other selfies.

Soon again my tears were streaming, as I knelt by that tiny gravestone, repenting for my anger and resentment.

I'm thrilled to report that my MIL came to Jesus one year before she passed away, and it completed our relationship in a wonderful way.

Now for the weird part. Years later my hubby and I were back at the picnic area. We walked out to the little cemetery. Believe it or not, after an extensive search, we were unable to find the headstone with my initials . . .

Was it ever really there?

Or was it one of those Holy Spirit-natural things?

Linked to:
God-Bumps and God-Incidents at Jennifer's
Walk With Him Wednesdays at Ann's
Imperfect Prose at Emily's

'til next time,

Betty Jo

warning: true confessions

2012-01-16T10:46:00.006-05:00

You know how it is . . .

You're going along, minding your own business, doing what you think you're supposed to, or emulating what others appear to be successfully doing,

and . . . WHAM!

Seemingly out of nowhere, something hits you between the eyes.

It's like stepping on the turned-up prongs of a 16-tine garden rake. Before you know it, the handle of said rake whacks you hard. At first you're stunned. Then you realize the knock was a good thing, enlightening and motivational. You see the danger of your habit. Then you promise; to yourself, to God, or to whoever is listening, that you won't be careless with that rake again. You take it to the shed and set it right.

I must confess.

I've been hit; hard.

Stopped in my tracks.

Not by a rake, this time, but words. The words of Michael Perkin's "free" eBook, Starting Over "A Manifesto on Being Yourself."

As I read Michael's eBook again recently (four times so far), these are the words that went . . . WHAM!

"being true to yourself and the voice you've been given"

"don't be afraid to be yourself"

"it's the voice God has chosen for you, and you alone"

One place I haven't been true to myself has been my blog.

Yes, I've been honest about my passion for family, helping others, art, frugality, health, decluttering, minimalism, and simple living. Living Real in all those areas, just as my title suggests.

But, I haven't been honest with myself, or totally true to the voice God has given me about my transformation, faith, and daily walk in and through Jesus Christ. I've neglected in my writing, a fundamental part of me.

While reading Starting Over I realized that I've longed for my blog to be popular, successful, with lots of visitors and comments like some of my friend's blogs. In trying to achieve that, I've been writing for others, trying hard not to offend anyone. And in so doing, I've lost my essence.

I'm taking the rake to the shed; setting it right.

Linked to: Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday hosted by Michelle at Graceful.

'til next time,

betty jo

you are the way

2012-01-15T08:04:00.002-05:00

Let your Glory fill this land! You are the way.

I'm linking this post to Spiritual Sundays.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

whether you eat or drink

2012-01-13T10:37:00.007-05:00

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do,

do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV

Often food related articles can be as exciting, or helpful, as watching clothes tumble in a dryer!

Not the case here though. This weeks Friday Faves, all food related, could cause you to leap into the air shouting "Joylicious!"

About now you might be thinking, "B-e-t-t-y J-o-o-o-o (the way my mother drug out my name when I said or did something ridiculous) you started the post with a photo of BROCCOLI for heaven's sake!"

I know, I know. Not as exciting as Tiramisu, right? But a lot better for you.

Five Ways to Reduce the Amount of Sugar in Your Kitchen is an excellent article written by Erin of $5 Dinners. Since cutting refined sugars from my diet, I'm always on the lookout for good recipes with healthy sugar alternatives, which led me to Erin's blog. Check out her recipe index. You're sure to find something there that you will enjoy.

Although she does use sugar in her recipes, Stone Soup the blog of Jules Clancy, has been a favorite of mine for years. Most of Jules recipes have only five ingredients, takes little time to make, appealing to my minimalist side. Jules now includes a list of variations with each recipe to help people with different dietary requirements.

A unique site I stumbled on this week: My Fridge Food. It has a feature, where you click the foods you have on hand in your fridge and cupboard, and it gives you recipes based on those ingredients. Genius! Plus there are tons of recipes in general. You have to register, takes about a minute, for the food list thingy to work right.

At the top of my favorite food styling and photography blogs is that of Aran Goyoaga. Here is her Portfolio, and I promise you will be drooling all the way through. If not for the food, then the photography. Like me, you will be inspired to take better food photos of your own after viewing Aran's work. For recipes, and more photography, Aran's wonderful blog is Cannelle et Vanille.

Since I started this article with broccoli, I'll end with broccoli.

I found this delicious recipe yesterday while blog hopping; Parmesan lemon basil broccoli (aka the best broccoli EVER!) at Chocolate Moments which has a lot of good recipes, and step-by-step photos and instructions.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

dealing with blogger's block

2012-01-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

Typing a blog post today is like nailing Jello to a wall.

I have blogger's block.

When I awoke this morning, I was dreaming of a blog post, but somewhere between the Mr Coffee and pulling up to my desk, it vanished.

When I can't write, I like meandering through old photos. More times than not, a certain photo kick-starts my thinking process and inspires a blog post.

Today I did that, and it worked.

I shot the photo last year, while snowed in my apartment, nestled in a small mountain town. I was still eating candy back then and dreaming of someday living in a country cottage of my own, with a designated room for creative pursuits.

What a difference a year can make:

I no longer eat candy bars; or gluten, dairy, and more foods to which I'm sensitive. As a result I've lost fourteen pounds, and joint pain is history.
I now live in a city, in a combined household with four other precious people (son, DIL, and two grands).
My creative paraphernalia is in one room, but the space also serves as my bedroom, office, art/photography studio, and exercise/TV room. The supplies live in the bottom of an old cupboard, my camera bag, and one Rubbermaid box.

Do I regret that my dreams from that cold snowy day haven't become a reality?

Absolutely not!

I'm no longer lonely for companionship. I'm healthier. I've decluttered to a state of near-minimalism, a longtime goal. I can now afford to pay my rent and eat. The perks go on and on . . .

There is nothing wrong with having a dream, as long as we don't stop there. We have to wake up at some point, take steps toward the dream, or discard it for something better. Often our dreams aren't really "our" dreams, but "borrowed" from someone else like when we see beautiful homes, cottages, or creative spaces in magazines or blogs and find we're wish-dreaming for the same.

This reminds me of a blog post I read recently; The Difference Between Dreaming and Starting by Jeff Goins. Be sure to read all of it.

Jeff says . . .

As it turns out, starting isn’t the same as dreaming.

The two are quite different. Although the latter may lead

to the former, dreaming can be overrated.

Why waste your time waiting?

Do something better and far more productive. Start.

And . . .

You only get one life. Don’t regret how you live it.

Start something today — even if it means starting over.

Today I started over, and finished!

'til next time,

Betty Jo

it make$ cent$

2012-01-09T07:34:00.010-05:00

My change jar

Pennies make dollars. That’s delightful in its simplicity.

If you’re serious about living within your means, saving, paying off debt, having more to give, or other financial goals, it’s important to learn how to spend less, and save those pennies.

While blog hopping this week I ran across the phrase Latte Factor. I Googled and was led to David Bach. David says the Latte Factor is a metaphor for those unnecessary "little" expenditures that we waste our money on, without realizing how much they add up. Putting aside as little as a few dollars a day or week for your future rather than spending it on little purchases such as lattes, bottled water, fast food, cigarettes, magazines and so on, can really make a difference between accumulating wealth and living paycheck to paycheck.

David's blog is HERE and he has a Latte Factor calculator HERE.

I have a habit of buying one, sometimes two, Pure bars when doing my weekly grocery shopping. They are healthy and delicious, but at $2.14 each if I stop buying them, it adds up to a considerable yearly savings. I've placed those bars on my Latte Factor list, and will no longer routinely drop them into my shopping cart.

What's on your Latte Factor list?

I invite you to join me. Choose one thing on your list and stop buying it daily or weekly.

It make$ cent$,

Betty Jo

PS: Hint to family and friends: If you're gift shopping for me, may I make a suggestion? Pure Bar Organic Cranberry Orange, Raw Fruit & Nut Bar, 1.7-Ounce Bars (Pack of 12)

friday faves

2012-01-06T14:42:00.010-05:00

Two of my 2012 intentions:

Write daily; not necessarily for publication or my blog, but the simple joy of writing.
Study books and online sources about writing.

Pictured above, a few of the books about writing my son and I share.

Since I wrote the New Year's post, I've spent time online exploring writing sites and there's a gold mine of information on the web. Following are a few I found interesting and helpful.

A new favorite blog is jeff goins writer. Jeff, in his own words: I’m a writer, idea guy, and difference-maker. I love compelling stories, worthy causes, and Pez candy.

Jeff offers a free eBook, The Writer's Manifesto, and a free blogging course, Intentional Blogging (that title definitely fits in with my New Year intentions). I've signed up for the 12 week class. Info on the free course can be found at the bottom of Jeff's home page or HERE.

Another writing resource I found this past week is The English Teacher, posted Thursdays on Richella's blog. In each Thursday post, Richella teaches a grammar lesson. I can certainly use a refresher course in grammar, and what a fun way to do it.

Last, but not least, is one of the most unique blogs I've visited: The Handwritten by Michael Perkins. Michael also offers a free eBook, Starting Over "A manifesto on being yourself". I downloaded Michael's free book and found it to be both inspiring and motivational.

'til next week,

Betty Jo

the rest of the story . . .

2012-01-04T13:06:00.004-05:00

photo from Pinterest

I mentioned in this post, starting points, a family favorite coffee-ice cream punch we traditionally enjoy on New Year's eve. Terry asked in her comment; Would you consider sharing the coffee ice cream punch recipe? Thank you for your comment Terry and it is nice to meet you! I would share the recipe, except I don't use one, making it from memory. This year I passed the baton, and taught my daughter-in-love to make it. A joy of living in a combined household is the fun of passing on family traditions to the next generation(s). Sometimes I feel like a Walton, rather than a Martin!

Terry, I did find a recipe online that is very similar to ours. Coffee Punch at Food.com. Here are a few of our tips: We use both vanilla ice cream and coffee ice cream in our version. Chocolate would be good too, making it mocha punch. I make the coffee "very" strong, dissolving the sugar while it is still hot, then refrigerate the night before so it's cold when time to assemble the punch. We substitute half 'n half for the whipping cream and add it right into the punch, rather than having whip cream on the top. We prefer cinnamon sprinkled on top of our punch; fine instant coffee or cocoa powder could also be used. You can play with this recipe, making it to your own taste, adding more or less sugar, coffee, ice cream, milk, etc. I never make ours exactly the same any year but it's always a winner.

You may recall in this post, unwanted, unloved, and uncared for, how I shared about T and S who had been abused by their own father, having their very lives threatened by him, and surely would have been killed or sold if the director of our ministry hadn't stepped in and removed the children from the home. (With the father's, and social service's, permission.)

Sabine said this in her comment: I just wanted to let you know that I have been praying for T and S since you posted, Betty Jo. I hope you are able to give us an update sometime on how they are doing.

Dear Sabine, thank you for your caring comment and your prayers for these children. Their story is truly bitter-sweet. Sweet in that T is thriving in his new home with our director and his family. He was the one more brutally beaten by his father.

But bittersweet in that S refused to stay away from her father and returned home. We are concerned that she will end up in the foster care system. But, our prayer is that if she does, she finds a very loving and caring family that will help her heal, and who will eventually adopt her.

You may also remember I mentioned in my post, starting points, as one of my ten New Year intentions, that I plan to declutter at least one item daily and join the challenge by Colleen at 365 Less Things. Colleen, a friend, and frequent visitor to my blog and my greatest inspiration concerning decluttering, was a bit surprised that I still have 365 things left to declutter since I've been working on it for the past three years.

I must confess! I still have decluttering to do, but Colleen may be right, I'm not sure that I have 365 items! So, I plan to do a modified version of her challenge. Rather than declutter seven days per week, I'm going to purge something five days per week, Monday through Friday, to the end of 2012.
Now you have the rest of these stories . . .

'til next time,

Betty Jo

starting points

2012-01-02T08:23:00.011-05:00

from laura winslow photography

The ball has dropped in Times Square. Fireworks with shooting tentacles of illuminating light has filled darkened skies over America and other parts of the world. Auld Lang Syne, from Scottish forefathers, has been traditionally sung. Delicious coffee ice cream punch, our families once-a-year favorite, has been enjoyed.

2011 has come to an end. 2012 is before us; a new starting point.

As I take one last look over my shoulder to 2011, I have to admit it was a good year personally. There were a few difficult situations along the way; my fifth move in three years and new physical problems. But, I can view each situation one of two ways; as a set-back or starting point. I choose the latter.

The move has allowed me to be with my family on a daily basis, share in their humanitarian work in a more personal, hands-on way, and due to having less room, has helped me move even closer to the simple, downsized, decluttered life I've dreamed of.

As I said in an earlier post; I'm excited about the New Year. I've been giving some thought to how I wish to fill my fresh, new, and ready-to-be-filled book of 2012. I'm not going to use terms this year like resolutions, or goals. I've done so in the past, and set myself up for failure. Instead, I've written down a few simple "intentions." Things I would like to do, or do better. Things that will help me grow as a person, so I can be of help to others.

Show more love, grace, forgiveness, and appreciation to others; and myself.
Give more; time, food, money, possessions, hugs, a hand up, an ear for listening, or a shoulder for tears.
Write daily; not necessarily for publication or for my blog, but for the simple joy of writing.
Study books and online sources about writing.
Be more physically active.
Continue to simplify and improve my diet.
Declutter at least one item five days per week. I'm taking a challenge by Colleen of 365 Less Things.
Live "more" with less.
Buy only essential things.
Practice One In, One Out rule. Anything new comes in, something old goes out.

I can always add to my list of intentions in the days, weeks, and months ahead, but these ten will give me a good starting point.

I'm adding this post to Debbiedoo's Newbie Party.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

a Christmas story

2011-12-29T21:06:00.004-05:00

Photo is a Christmas ornament I bought last year.

We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas holiday. Practicing minimal gift giving this year, our celebration centered instead on helping with the needs of others, as well as fun activities with family and friends. A phrase that I love, on Anna’s blog, Nature Trail, truly summed up our experience: Sharing meals with the voices of family and friends!

Since we cook a huge Thanksgiving feast, it’s become a tradition to eat our Christmas meal out. We normally go Christmas Eve since little is open on Christmas Day. This year we, and a close family friend, had brunch at a restaurant with an awesome buffet.

Our waitress was a quiet, but friendly and very attentive Hispanic woman in her mid to late thirties. During the course of our meal, I had opportunity to observe her as she quietly worked. And what a worker she was! Since our family is involved with ministry to inner city youth and refugee families, with many Hispanic children represented, my attention is always drawn to ethnic families and/or individuals. I said to those at our table . . . “I wonder what her story is.”

When it was time for the tip, we all started digging deep and mutually agreed we wanted to bless V (name left out for obvious reasons). We managed to draw together a very nice sum; far, far more than would be expected. My son slipped the tip to her; she thanked us, put it in her apron pocket, and continued clearing tables near us.

Everyone wasn’t quite finished with dessert and coffee, so we stayed seated for a while longer. Soon I saw V come rushing through the door at the back of the dining room, with a huge smile on her face, heading for our table. When she got closer I could see there were tears in her eyes as well. She began hugging us in succession, wishing us “Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad”. When she got to my DIL, she whispered, “I’m a single mom, and this will help with my children’s Christmas.” My DIL then asked V about her children and she has two sons.

We shared with her about the Christian ministry of One7 with an emphasis on soccer for the youth, and she was so excited, saying her son wanted so much to play soccer. We invited her and her children, for the weekly games and meetings, which start again next week in the New Year. She said they will be there. Hopefully that will allow us to get to know them better, and learn more of their story.

Recently I saw a news report about a millionaire who goes around every Christmas giving out one hundred dollar bills to random people. He gives thousands each year. I remember thinking as I watched; how wonderful it would be to have the means to do that. But, it doesn’t always take hundred dollar bills to make a difference in someone’s life.

Take a risk; follow your heart. There is nothing more joyful or rewarding, than to give someone a caring hand up!

'til next year,

Betty Jo

merry Christmas

2011-12-23T09:15:00.003-05:00

The texture used on my Christmas digital photo/card above is
from the free textures I offer on Flicker found HERE.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my blogging friends! I appreciate each one of you and pray you have the best season ever. ♥

For this week's friday faves I discovered a free Declutter and Organize Calendar for 2012 that you can download from My Simpler Life. Perhaps this will be helpful for those looking forward to a clutter-free new year.

'til next week,

Betty Jo

forward thinking

2011-12-21T12:29:00.003-05:00

Christmas week and I'm already looking forward to the New Year!

As I wrote the last of my checks for this year it caused me to start forward thinking. According to a TowerGroup survey three-quarters of consumers still pull out a pen, checkbook and stamps to pay bills. I'm a boomer, old-school, retired from bookkeeping and office management, and one of those three-quarters of consumers.

I expect it's been a trust issue for me; worry about the safety of sending payments over the Internet. Or perhaps the fear of change.

After living in my present situation for seven months I've learned more about what I need, and what I don't. So in the new year I'll be decluttering even more, reaching for a more minimal and simple lifestyle. Freeing time and money for the things I'm truly interested in.

Electronic decluttering is at the top of my list for the New Year. To begin with, I'm taking the plunge to on-line bill paying. It will save time, money spent for stamps, envelopes, and checks. It will also cut down on the paper clogging our mailbox (possibly saving a few trees in the process).

I've already begun deleting subscriptions to e-newsletters and other stuff I hardly look at clogging my email inbox. I'll be cutting my email, receiving and sending, to the bare bones. So, if I leave a comment at your blog, and you email me rather than simply commenting back on my blog, you'll understand when I don't reply. To be honest, I would much rather have the blog comment. I don't mean to offend anyone, some friends do both, comment and email, and I appreciate every single one. But, when I take my time to visit a blog, read a post(s) and leave a comment, and I receive a "Thank You" email instead of a return visit and comment at my blog, I feel cheated somehow. Am I the only one who feels this way? A great thing about having a return comment on my blog, I can read your wonderful words over and over again, but I keep my email inbox really clean, reading emails only once and then deleting them.

Same with facebook. I'll definitely be reducing my friends list. In the past I've added friends willy-nilly not having the heart to say "No". That leaves me plowing through posts I have no real interest in. You know the kind; my-youngest-just-threw-up-on-the dog or I'm eating breakfast! Are people's lives really so boring and empty that they actually feel the need to post on FB or Twitter when they are eating breakfast?! What is up with that??

At the moment Twitter seems a waste of time to me, so I've deleted my account there altogether.

So I'm well on the way to decluttering my cyber world. I have lots of posts planned for 2012 as I further minimize my personal stuff too with tips and ideas that can help you do the same.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

that's a wrap

2011-12-14T13:31:00.006-05:00

Discount ribbon from Michael's. Photo shot last year.

I have yet to wrap even one gift this year!

But, we are beginning to feel better around our house after bouts of colds and tummy bugs! My youngest granddaughter was so cute. With a concerned look on her pretty little face, and eyes as big as saucers, she said to me, "Gran, Mommy says I have a bug in my tummy!" I assured her it wasn't the kind of bug she was thinking (she's petrified of a gnat), but one that is sooooo tiny she would have to have a microscope to see it. She was visibly relieved after hearing that. :)

These days I use mostly recycled gift bags for gifts. I recycle them from year to year. They fold nicely, and fit neatly under my bed in a low Rubbermaid container along with tags, tape, tissue paper and other wrapping materials. My DIL has more room, so she keeps a stash too, including a few very large ones.

Through the years I have collected a lot of money-saving wrapping ideas.

Use recycled wrapping paper to stuff into gift bags.
Shredded wrapping paper makes colorful gift box stuffing.
Buy white butcher's paper or brown paper (found at home improvement stores, called "contractor’s paper") to wrap gifts. Simply add a colorful ribbon, twine and or decorations such as pine cones, leaves, silk flowers, small toys, or candy canes.
Cut Christmas pictures from magazines, old calendars, or Christmas cards and glue onto bags or packages.
Look in your kitchen for gift boxes to wrap – Oatmeal boxes, cereal boxes and such work great.
You can make bows from old magazines and a few tools. Here is an awesome tutorial to show you how.
Make gift tags from old Christmas cards.
Have the store gift wrap it for you. Sometimes, volunteers of a charity will wrap your present where you can make a donation to their cause and get all your presents gift wrapped for free!
Don't wrap at all but make a gift basket. You can often find used baskets at thrift stores for $3 and under. They can easily be painted for the occasion. Fill the bottom with Christmas paper and you’ll find it so festive, it hardly matters what goes inside.
Fill jars with cookie mix or other food items, cover the top with fabric, or simply tie on a tag with pretty ribbon and bow, rather than wrapping.
Store gift cards take very little wrapping, if any!
Of course you can buy all your wrapping materials cheaply on Black Friday if you're willing to brave the madness. I'm not that brave!

What are some of the ways you've found for frugal gift wrapping? Please share in your comment, so I can add to my list.

I'm linking up to Pink Saturday. If you want to see many other Christmas themed posts, not necessarily pink, visit Beverly at How Sweet the Sound.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

around our house

2011-12-10T12:02:00.000-05:00

The only downside I can think of concerning consolidated living, is that we share airborne germs due to close proximity of each other.

Around our house right now it looks and sounds like a hospital!

My granddaughters are sleeping on the living room floor due to the fact they have just gone through a tummy bug, and their room is still being aired.

Both girls, their dad, and me have colds. I told my friend it feels much worse than a cold, but yet not the flu. She says call it respiratory flu. So respiratory flu it is.

My sweet DIL has taken care of all of us, and now she has the dreaded sore throat this morning.

Soooo, I'm going to take some time away from blogging and concentrate on getting well and helping others around here do the same . . .

'til next time,

Betty Jo

unwanted, unloved, uncared for

2011-12-06T13:44:00.003-05:00

child from Thailand via Flickr

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. ~Mother Teresa

I've struggled with how to write what's on my heart. I guess the only way, is simply to start . . .

He was born in Thailand. He is only ten. When he was a year old, his mother died in a refugee camp. As he grew, soldiers favored him and taught him to shoot guns. He witnessed hangings and God-only-knows what other atrocities. Somehow he ended up in America with his father and sister. He is abused by his father. He cuts himself. He said at school last week he doesn't want to live anymore. The school followed their normal protocol when a student is suicidal. He ended up at a hospital with a translator and psychiatrist. It was up to the psychiatrist if he would be admitted to a mental ward or institution. To protect his identity I will refer to him as T.

Our friend, and president of the inner-city ministry our family works with was allowed to be with T at the hospital. It turns out the translator and the psychiatrist are Christians and put T in the care of our friend rather than sending him away. After meeting with T's father, who admitted he no longer wanted his children and was going to sell both T and his sister, our friend talked the father into "giving" the children to him instead. He helped the father explain this to child-services and was allowed, at least for now, to keep and care for the two children.

This happened last Friday. My son, and our friend, had to leave Friday afternoon with a soccer team formed by the ministry for a weekend of out-of-state games. It was decided that T would accompany them with the team. But, that left the sister, fourteen. I will call T's sister, S. The president's wife was out of town on family business, unavailable to care for S. My DIL and I decided S could stay with us.

S too has been horribly abused by her father, and possibly others. Her English isn't very good, so it was difficult for her to understand why she had to leave her father's home. To remain there meant she would have been sold, possibly even killed.

That is not S in the photo at the beginning of this post; but it could have been. She is such a beautiful little girl, painfully shy and skiddish, like a baby bunny. When I met her I welcomed her to our home with my biggest smile, instinctively reaching out to place my hand on her back. She was unable to make eye contact with me, immediately pulling away from my touch, ready to run if need be. My heart broke for her.

All she wanted was to go home. All we could do was promise that she could return to our friend's home Sunday evening.

My granddaughters were so warm and welcoming to S and helped to ease her tension over being in a strange place. She sat a lot of the time in a fetal position in a corner of our living room couch watching us. She basically only spoke when spoken to.

One of my granddaughters had a soccer game Saturday afternoon. S was allowed to go with her. When the van from the ministry came to pick up the girls, S misunderstood and thought she was going home. It was heartbreaking to see her disappointment.

My DIL, along with a close family friend, took S shopping for new school clothes, which helped for a little while.

I'm happy to say, by Sunday afternoon she was actually joining in a few minutes of our Wii games, although mostly watching us play, and even giggling at me trying to keep up with some of the dance moves of my granddaughters. I wondered if she had ever known a grandmother or if she even remembered her own mother.

It was hard for us to let her go on Sunday. We wondered if we had given her enough love, and care, to help a teeny bit along the long journey that lies ahead for her. We weep just thinking about the weekend, and the future of these two children, and hope there is more we can do in the days ahead.

It has been reported back to us that S had a terrible time Sunday evening when she realized she would not be returning home. But, for now, she has accepted that as best she can and is doing a little better. T, on the other hand, is thriving outside of their father's home and the horrible abuse he has been subjected to.

I don't mean to be a hum-bug, but there is something surreal for me this year, about the seasonal commercials on TV showing happy, healthy, loved children opening their electronic gadgets, or whatever, in a gorgeous home filled with Christmas cheer, presents, food, and beauty. Many children, here in America, won't even have enough food to eat at Christmas, much less toys and expensive gifts. Many are abused, or simply homeless due to the recession, living in homeless shelters and cars. T and S have put "real" faces to some of these children for me, and it hurts more than I can even express.

Is there a conclusion to this post? Not really. If you've read this far, thank you for allowing me to share my most unusual weekend with you. There is still a lot about this subject in my heart, so I expect it will be spilling into my posts in the days ahead . . .

'til then,

Betty Jo

useful or beautiful

2011-11-26T09:51:00.004-05:00

There it sat in all of it's ugliness!

Tucked into the back corner of one of my two small cupboards, out of sight, out of mind. Taking up precious space I can't afford for useless or ugly.

Yesterday as I looked at it, the quote by William Morris came to mind: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

This hand-made object, given to me by a well-meaning distant relative, isn't useful to me or anyone else, and definitely isn't beautiful.

Why have I kept the thing? Moving it from home to home for years. It isn't at all likely the relative will show up to see me, or to see if I still have it.

It is biodegradable, the only thing going for it, so it is now awaiting the next garbage pick-up day.

That felt good!

Now I have space for something I need or simply love; a camera, or the beautiful thrift store bargain dish at the top of this post, or . . . you get the picture.

I live small. Space is very limited, so I cannot afford to hang on to stuff out of sentimentality, a false sense of loyalty to others, or any such thing.

With Christmas right around the corner, I don't want to collect more stuff that I will need to find space for. So, due to my request, the adults in my family, and friends, are not exchanging gifts this year. We are instead donating what we would have spent to the inner-city ministry we are involved with.

I found an excellent post this morning that speaks so well to the up-coming gift-giving season with suggestions of how to avoid unwanted presents/stuff. You can find it here: Miss Minimalist's Gift Avoidance Guide.

I'm linking to:
Pink Saturday at Beverly's How Sweet the Sound

'til next time,

Betty Jo

friday faves

2011-11-24T13:45:00.005-05:00

Each Friday I plan to share internet favorites I discover during the week, especially simple and frugal living ideas. I may share one link or more, but you will find an interesting variety, from various places around the web.

Americans celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. During the week I read several awesome posts about giving thanks.

One that stood out from the crowd, and actually inspired me to start Friday Faves, is a guest post at be more with less entitled The Thanksgiving Project - Giving Thanks for the Big Things. The post is written by Josh Martin (not related to me) who is a freelance copywriter and self-publisher based in Canada. His writing tends to revolve around the topics of making the most out of life, work-life balance and simple living. Josh is a cancer survivor, so definitely writes about making the most out of life from a place of appreciation and thankfulness.

After Thanksgiving comes that time of year when our thoughts and pocket books turn towards Christmas gifts and holiday shopping. We decided several weeks ago as a family that the adults will not be exchanging gifts this year. We will be buying a few gifts for my granddaughters. The money we would have spent on each other, we are donating to One7 Ministries, the ministry to inner-city at-risk youth and refugee families, which we are a part of here in NC.

Yesterday I read a post by Leo Babauta of Zenhabits that really spoke to me in light of our families personal Christmas gift decision. Plus the fact that I've spent years decluttering and have no desire to regain more "stuff". Leo blogs about finding simplicity in the daily chaos of our lives. It’s about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, find happiness. Leo is married, living in San Francisco with his wife and six children. Here is the post: The No New Gifts Holiday Challenge.

If you read my post living small then you know my interest in small house/home living. Some time ago I found an incredible post by miss minimalist entitled Radical Downsizing. Miss minimalist shares how she and her husband moved from a 1000-square-foot, 3-bedroom house with a 2-car garage to a 390-square-foot, 1-bedroom apartment. I'm sure that's hard for many to wrap their minds around, but I found the article inspiring.

A few photos of miss minimalist's apartment:

Before I close my first friday faves post, this is for Jo, who left a comment in a recent post. Since there wasn't a link back, I'm replying here.

Jo, as you can imagine, your comment touched me deeply and I cried. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I remember so well, only three short years ago, being where you are.

Today things are a bit better, not always good, but better. The pain in my heart has lessened a little and I'm sure yours will too. Creativity is gradually returning, and so will yours.

As you said, only someone who has been there can possibly understand the depth of your grief. It's like an entire half of you has gone missing, and you will struggle daily just to keep the remaining half breathing, thinking, walking and talking. There were days I failed at most of that, and just spent the entire day in bed sobbing.

Remember to forgive others when they say things like, "Think on all the beautiful memories you shared!" or "Make a journal or scrapbook of your memories." They truly mean well, but simply don't understand that it makes you scream inside, "But, he isn't a memory yet!" "He is still very real to me!!"

Be forgiving, kind and gentle with yourself.

I pray you have family and friends who will surround you with their love during these days . I would like to keep in touch, either here through my blog, or you can email me at b.jp101AThotmail.com (change the AT to @).

I'm linking this post to:
Frugal Friday at the Shabby Nest

'til next time,

Betty Jo

happy thanksgiving

2011-11-23T08:13:00.004-05:00

Fall Mosaic by Betty Jo

Happy Thanksgiving to all those celebrating! I wish you a beautiful day filled with family, friends, good food, fun, and of course, thankfulness.

I plan to start a Friday Faves post, beginning this week, so be sure to check back. I'll be sharing with you links to favorite posts, blogs, photos, recipes, tips, etc that I've discovered during the week from around the web. Perhaps some of my picks will become faves of yours too.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

thank you

2011-11-20T19:41:00.008-05:00

Materials used in above art: Micron pens, Derwent Inktense pencils, PSCS5

In four days we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the US.

I have so much to be thankful for and at the top of that list is my faith, my incredible family and their work with inner-city at-risk youth and refugee families. I'm grateful they invited me to live with them, to share their home, their everyday lives, and their ministry. Although I battle with health issues on a daily basis, I'm thankful I can still walk, talk, pray, love, give, encourage, and create.

I'm also thankful that I have many friends and incredible blogging buddies; some of you I've known for years, others I've met in the last week. I thank each one of you for your visits, your beautiful comments, your inspiration, for those following my new blog (50 following as of yesterday, the first week), and all those who have subscribed by email.

This was to be my last ditch effort at blogging. Since my precious husband passed away three years ago it has been very difficult to create anything, especially blog posts. In less than four days the life I had known and shared for nearly forty years, ended, and I was plunged into numbing grief. I felt totally empty, floundering along the strange new path on which I found myself, suddenly and unexpectedly, and didn't feel I had anything to say, or create, that anyone could possibly find interesting. There were times I didn't even have words to pray, much less write a blog.

However, the first year, I tried to keep my blog going, Digi Scribbles, sometimes writing about the grief, but the posts were so few and far between, so I finally gave up. I was still trying to create digital graphics at that point, posting about them occasionally, but eventually I had to abandon the work and the blog.

Even in the midst of those foggy dark days, so many of you continued to drop by my blog leaving comforting and encouraging comments and emails. I cherished you for that, even though I seldom responded . . . there simply were no words. Many of you told me how brave and strong I was. The truth is, I wasn't, or certainly couldn't see it, I was scared and never felt weaker in my life. But, you kept coming and telling me you were praying for me, or thinking about me, and I so love you for that . . .

I've moved five times in the past three years. So, in the second year I started a blog about decluttering and downsizing, Joy With Less. I even started a cooking blog at one point, but never published it. Then I tried a blog based on photography, Betty Jo's View, but for some reason that one didn't work out either and I lost interest. I tried a return to graphic design, but it was like starting all over again in the digital scrapbook community, which had changed a lot in my absence, and I simply never got off the ground with my sales. So, now I've retired for good.

I'm ready to try blogging again. I'm still decluttering and downsizing, photography is still a passion, and I've returned to my love of drawing and painting, mostly with paper, pens and ink rather than digital, occasionally mixing the two like the Thank You at the beginning of this post. Although my diet has changed drastically I still turn out a blog-worthy dish now and again. So, three or four times a week, you'll find blog posts on these subjects.

I dreamed the name of my blog, living real, and I think it is perfect for me. If there is one thing I've learned over these past three years it is that life is "real". It isn't always pretty and perfect, or the way we want it to be, but it is definitely "real". If I just wanted a personal journal, I would only write in a notebook. But, I want to meet interesting people, people who inspire me, teach me, who are real, people who are changing the world one day at a time, and who love sharing by blogging about it. People like you! I prayed that if I am to continue to blog, others would find my blog interesting enough to show up, leave comments, and welcome me back into the blogging community.

You have . . . and so I will . . .

Betty Jo

living small

2011-11-16T11:35:00.009-05:00

404 sq ft Harbinger House from Tumbleweed Homes

Blogging friends Claudia of Mockingbird Hill Cottage and Brenda of Cozy Little House are starting a new series at their blogs called Defending the Small House. Their motto: It's not how much space you have. It's what you do with that space that counts. Be sure to visit both their blogs for inspiring, creative, and beautiful, ideas for living with less space. They are requesting ideas and insights on the subject from fellow bloggers, so leave comments and ideas that you might have, when you visit.

According to the National Association of Home Builders, the average size of a new single-family American residence in 1950 was 983 square feet. Today, it is nearly 2500 square feet.

With the present recession many people, by choice or otherwise, are downsizing or should I say, right-sizing their American Dream. After the supersize era of McMansions, many say their ideal home size is under 2,000 square feet, according to real-estate site Trulia.

Many of us have chosen not to own homes at all. A lot of people have had their homes go into foreclosure and have been forced to rent, or even live in their cars, in shelters, or on the streets.

My hubby and I lived happily in an apartment in Oregon that was less than 500 sq ft. Many people live in New York City apartments that are 300 sq ft or less! You can read my present living situation in this post, Can-Can Stew. Like my family, many are moving back to situations similar to The Walton's, having more than one generation under a roof.

Some years ago, hubby and I sold our modest home, and served with an International missionary organization in England, we were housed in a three-story McMansion. We served as hospitality couple at Stonehouse, in Sevenoaks, Kent. Up until that time we had always dreamed of owning a large fixer-upper here in the US. One year in that gigantic house, changed our personal American Dream forever after.

Stonehouse, Sevenoaks, Kent, UK. All my photos
of our house in England were lost in a move.
This photo was provided by my dear friend Kitty

Our family of four, occupied the two lower floors of this beautiful home near Sevenoaks in the English countryside. There were four bedrooms, and two full baths on the second floor. On the ground floor there was an office, huge living room, dining room, and gigantic kitchen with an eat-in table that could seat fifteen people. Most rooms had eleven to twelve foot high ceilings! (Can you imagine trying to heat that amount of space?) There was also a bathroom with two sinks and two stalls for the toilets. There was a cold storage room at the back, and beautiful solarium in the front of the house. There was also a horse pasture, summer cottage, and tennis court on the property and lots of beautiful forest land. The pasture was rented out and the summer cottage, as well as the third floor of the house, was used by the son's of the property owners. But, we did enjoy the tennis court and walks in the surrounding forests.

As hospitality couple we housed people passing through England to other mission fields, some who were ill and needed a recuperative stay in the country, others needing a place to stay until they found their own suitable housing in London. We also did the cooking for groups of people who came on weekends for seminars. Think B&B hosts; that's basically what it was like.

We enjoyed our work there, especially meeting incredible people from all over the world. But, the care of the house and property was insane! When others were living with us, we assigned cleaning and cooking chores, which helped greatly. But, when we were there alone, and that was a lot of the time, it was a never ending job of cleaning and maintenance. Oh and did I mention, there was also an apple orchard, to be cared for, and the apples picked and stored?

We were never so happy as when we lived in our first small rental cottage after returning to the US! And never again, did either of us wish for a large house and property. We learned to live smaller and smarter which was much more economical, and gave us time and freedom to pursue our passions.

I've lived large, and I've lived small, and I prefer small. As far as I'm concerned, living smaller is really living more, and that means a lot to me.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

drawing nutrition

2011-11-14T08:24:00.001-05:00

{materials: Derwent Inktense pencils, Micron pens}

I've decided to create a series of 5 X 7 nutritional illustrations. I'm creating them just for the fun of it, and as a reminder for myself to eat healthy foods on a daily basis. I also plan to create a journal of illustrated recipes. I've been greatly inspired by the incredible recipe illustrations at The Vegan Stoner.

The first in my nutritional series of drawings is kale, which is a nutritious powerhouse, and a food I eat almost every day. I love it raw in salads, or dropped into a stir-fry the last three or four minutes before serving (cooking kale for more than five minutes destroys nutrients). It can also be juiced with fruit and other goodies to make tasty and healthy green smoothies.

Kale is a form of cabbage, green or purple, in which the central leaves do not form a head. It is considered to be closer to wild cabbage than most domesticated forms. There are several varieties, my favorite being Lacinato kale.

If I were going to eat only one vegetable for my health, kale would be it. Kale is loaded with calcium, iron, and Vitamins A, C, and K. Also, it has phytonutrients such as sulforaphane and indoles, which may help protect from cancer.

Since I'm now a city slicker, I don't have space for a garden, but plan to grow kale in containers next spring.

Take a tip from the wise little ladybug I drew and go for some kale. You'll be glad you did . . .

'til next time,

Betty Jo

can-can stew

2011-11-10T10:38:00.003-05:00

If you have followed my blogs for any length of time you will remember that I have worked for the past couple of years decluttering my belongings. First I began getting rid of all the excess stuff my hubby and I had collected during forty years of marriage. Then I continued to pare down unnecessary possessions to a place that would make any good minimalist proud. Except for a few vintage items stored at a friend's, which I plan to sell. I've reached my goal where acquisitions are concerned.

All the hard work paid off. I moved in with my son and family this past summer.* I have one small upstairs bedroom of my own, which is my office, TV room, reading room, creative space, photo studio and where I sleep. Think; "dorm" living. I share the upstairs bathroom facilities with my two granddaughters, and son, when he is working in his office on my floor. They all take their baths downstairs, so I have the bathroom closet, and under counter space for my stuff. I share the small downstairs eat-in kitchen using two small upper cabinets, and two below. I have a shelf and one vegetable bin in the fridge, plus one shelf in the freezer. My DIL and I share a vintage cabinet as our pantry, which is housed in the living room, since the kitchen is too small for it. The person who built this house obviously decided that city dwellers don't cook and eat at home! This smaller space took a little getting used to at first, moving from a two story townhouse apartment, but I manage just fine now. The best part of all, the perks of living with my precious family. I wouldn't trade that for all the spacious abodes on earth!

* Just to clarify: My son and family are the most giving, hospitable, loving people you could ever meet. They wouldn't care how much space I used in their home. I've chosen to live with less, and to occupy less of our home due to the fact they are a very active, busy family of four who need much more space than I do.

People around the globe live with much less space than I now have. Due to the poor economy, resulting in loss of jobs and home foreclosures, many Americans are downsizing too, either by choice or necessity. I speak from experience. It's doable, and can even be enjoyable.

Once I managed to pare down my possessions I started decluttering other areas of my life. For the past couple of months I've been working on my diet and excess weight. I began by going on a twenty-one day Daniel Fast. The first few days were rough, detoxing from chemicals in processed foods, craving old favorites, etc. But as my taste changed I began to enjoy my food more than ever. I felt better, lost some weight, and all the joint pain I had been experiencing before the fast disappeared. Once I finished the fast I then eliminated gluten, dairy (except for egg whites), unhealthy fats, fast food, over processed foods, most meat and sugar. To date I've lost fourteen pounds and feel better than I have for years.

I will share posts in more detail how I manage to live with less space, as well as healthy recipes and tips in the days ahead. Today I'll start with a simple recipe that I make often. With November comes a nip in the air, and I start craving cooler weather foods; stews, soups, winter squash and root vegetables. My Can-Can Stew fits the season perfectly. The basic recipe was given to me many years ago.

Can Can Stew consists of three main ingredients, simple instructions, plus spices and toppings of your choice. (I had planned to illustrate and paint the ingredients, but ran out of time, so created them digitally.)

I use two cans of stewed tomatoes (breaking up tomatoes into small pieces), one can of beans, drained and one can of corn, drained. You can also use frozen corn if you prefer. I place the ingredients in a sauce pan, add wine or vegetable broth to thin if needed, bring to a boil, turn to simmer and cook for ten to fifteen minutes. Season with spices of your choice; before or after simmering. The recipe can easily be doubled, tripled, or increased to the amount you need. Serve in a bowl as a stew, or over rice, pasta, or crusty bread slices.

Add spices and toppings of your choice and amounts. Following are some suggestions:

Mediterranean spices; rosemary, cumin, coriander, oregano, cinnamon, salt
Tex-Mex spices; chili powder, cumin, black pepper, salt, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, and/or hot sauce
Italian spices; basil, oregano, parsley, garlic powder, thyme, rosemary, black pepper
Any beans will do; I prefer black or red kidney beans
Top with sour cream, soy sour cream, grated cheese, grated soy cheese, sesame seeds, chopped green onions or chives, sliced black olives, chopped parsley or cilantro, nutritional yeast (my favorite)
Add red or white wine, vegetable or meat stock, before simmering for added taste or to thin stew
Add other cooked vegetables or rice to the basic dish. I add black rice (my all-time favorite rice)
Add cooked hamburger, chicken, or turkey if you prefer a meat dish
Serve hot in bowls with crackers or bread along side
Serve over hot rice, pasta, or crusty bread slices

These are only suggestions. If you make this recipe, please let me know if you liked it, and how you seasoned and served it. Perhaps you will come up with something new I can add to my list of suggestions.

My Can-Can Stew is not only easy, economical and delicious, but it's pretty too!

'til next time,

Betty Jo

color inspiration

2011-11-08T11:25:00.008-05:00

I was a little concerned when I moved to the city, from a sleepy mountain town, that there might not be much near me in the way of fall color photo opportunities.

There was no need for concern!

Fall color is my very favorite photography inspiration and I've found tons of it here. The color came a bit later than I was used to near the mountains, but when it did come, it was a burst of incredible beauty. I shot these two photos right out our back door!

Click on the photos for a closer look. I processed both photos with Florabella Vintage Spring 2 action.

'til next time,

Betty Jo

welcome

2011-11-06T09:28:00.006-05:00

Welcome to my new blog! I'm so happy you found your way here.

Check out my About page (pages listed in right sidebar) to see what you can expect to find here in the days ahead.

I will definitely be sharing interesting links for "how to" opportunities and/or posts by my talented and creative friends.

I'd like to begin with Lori Vliegen who is one of my all-time favorite artists. Be sure to visit Lori's blog, elvie.studio, for the most inspiring and creative posts. Lori creates incredible lettering on her art pieces and is teaching a class beginning tomorrow, November 7, 2011. Simply click the photo below, or on my sidebar to be transported to the class information and registration.

While you're here, please sign up to follow my blog by email, or as a Follower. Thanks ever so much!!

'til next time,

Betty Jo